Revisiting My Life in Music: Memory Blocks!

1952_may_scott_fishI find the toughest part of recollecting how I became a freelance writer and managing editor of Modern Drummer is getting right the sequence of events. More than once  I was sure I did this before that, only to discover the opposite is true.

Also, my writing motivations are often hazy. Or maybe my motivations were as simple as, “I want to do this.” Or, “I’m following my heart.”

Imagine having a passionate interest in something for 35-years. Everything related to your passion you collected during those years is kept in a large, secure barn. One day you draw the window blinds, drain the pipes and turn off the water, call the power company and have them turn off the electricity, lock the front door, and walk away from it all.

Thirty years later, for the first time, you unlock the front door and walk in. You’re standing in the center of half-a-lifetime of your work. You haven’t forgotten all of it. But you have forgotten some of it. And much of what, for half-a-lifetime, was your passion, your sole focus, is now out-of-focus, scrambled.

Sorting through 35-years of memories after a 30-year hiatus is sometimes overwhelming: How do I do this? And when it seems most overwhelming is when the doubts kick in: Why have you unlocked this door? Why are you combing through boxes of memories? Who cares?

Beginning this work in progress I knew experience would most likely prompt me to revise my initial plans. For example, I thought answering the question, “What were my writing influences?” would be an easy single-entry blog post. Not so.

I’m learning it’s okay to have short blog posts. And if some subjects take longer to piece together accurately than others – so be it.

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About scottkfish

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